Remember that post I made a while ago about my life-long struggle with eczema? Well since then, I had actually experienced a bit of ‘normality’ with skin, if you can call it that. Let’s just say it wasn’t as horrible as it had been lately. There were signs of improvement – to the point where I still had patches of eczema, but it was tolerable and nothing out of the ordinary. Although it didn’t clear up completely, it was notably better.
Recently, people have asked me how I’ve been doing and how my skin has been and I’ve truthfully answered that it’s been well, pretty good. And it felt just as good being able to give that answer.
- “How’s your skin?”
- “Yeah, pretty good actually!” *smiles proudly*
But like true Angelica luck, it seems that I’ve spoken too soon. Just like that, my skin has decided to act out, flare up, get the shits. I’d noticed a couple of weeks back that I was itchier than usual, although I couldn’t see any signs of an actual flare up – I was just really .. really itchy. It was only over these past few days that things have gotten worse. At work last week, I had to embarrassingly hide three little dots of blood on my shirt because I had unknowingly scratched so much that I had started to bleed. That evening, I examined my skin and realised it wasn’t just my arms that were bleeding. My entire body was covered in bright red scratch marks. I’d wake up in the middle of the night, unable to stop scratching.
As soon as I stepped into the shower today, my whole body stung; while I was getting ready, I stood in front of the mirror and hated what I saw. After succumbing to weakness (“I feel so ugly”) and yet another wave of absolute defeat, I wiped my tears, took a deep breath, and decided to take action. I went to the chemist and spent a ridiculous amount on anything that could help. Creams, oils, ointments.
My cousin Joy recently wrote about her eczema journey and how probiotics have made a significant difference in her son’s skin. Today I finally took her advice and bought myself a bottle of eczema specific probiotics. Today marks Day 1.
When it comes down to it, all I can really do is trial-and-error… and hope for the best. There is only so much that the doctors can do – I have all the creams they can prescribe me; I know all the advice they’ll give. The rest is up to me. I just need to remind myself that although life would be a lot easier (and cheaper) if I had normal healthy skin, that would not be the skin I’ve been given, and despite having flare ups, each case is always temporary . It’s just another – little – obstacle in this thing we call life.
(Although I really do hope that some of these products makes a difference!)